Quain Laroche#5

Morning. I wake up. I 'ad the most wonderful dream, in it I was sleeping indoors.

What's this?

It's dry and warm.

Where am I?

Of course, it wasn't just a dream.

I get up, it's time for breakfast and morning smoke.

I light a cigarette, it feels good to smoke indoors for a change.

So, very – good.

After the smoke I go to kitchen. Time for breakfast. I find some bread and wine, finally I can 'ave a real breakfast.

I take the wine and the bread to the kitchen table.

I open the bottle and pour the wine in a bowl.

Then I put the bread in the wine.

Then I eat.

It's good.

It's been too long since I last ate bread.

After the breakfast I go outside. Rene and 'e's brother 'ave already left for work.

I think.

I don't know we're they work or are they working.

Only thing that matters is that they 'ate Boche

Like me.

I walk in the village.

I still don't know where I am, or where Colmair is.

There is always next time.

I don't know where I go, I just walk.

And smoke.

It's a nice day today.

Soon I'll be living with Jacque. 'e's a good man. Bit nervous, but that's fine.

Don't know much about Jacque. 'e 'as a cafe and that's about it.

Still 'e knows Boche, that's the downside. If I'm to live with 'im I must come to use them. That doesn't feel right.

Still I'm going to live with a man who serves them by day and by night 'e tries to kill them.

Don't know if I can trust 'im.

What if 'e rats us out to them? What if 'e rats me out to them?

Wait.

If Jacque is going to rat us out, why 'asn't 'e done that all ready?

What is 'e waiting?

I must ask from Rene if 'e thinks that Jacque is going to rat us out to Boche.

But what if 'e 'as?

And Boche are simply just waiting.

But why?

I must ask this from Rene too.

It's afternoon. I return to Rene's place. I knock on the door 'e's brother opens it and let's me in.

I ask about Rene.

'e's out.

'e's brother asks me if I ever clean myself. I say no. I live in the streets in a constant fear of Boche, therefore I don't 'ave that many chances to take a bath or anything.

Auguste says that, that wasn't what 'e meant, but 'e goes to make the bathtub ready for me.

I sit down in the sofa.

It's so soft.

I fall asleep.

Rene wakes me up.

'e smiles.

'e says that the bath is ready.

I go and take the bath.

I take off my clothes, and go in the water.

It's wet.

Feels good.

Bit cold, but that's fine.

I don't find a soap but that's fine.

Once again in a long long time I'm clean.

I put my clothes on and leave.

I go to Rene and ask about Jacque, 'e says that 'e was busy and didn't make 'ave time to. 'e goes on saying that 'e's still going to and that I can stay 'ere 'till then.

That's what I'll do then.

Also ask 'im about Jacque and wheter 'e's planning on giving us in for the Boche.

Rene says that that's for me to find out.

The end 

Star Wreck: In The Pirkinning

You may remember my review of Iron Sky in, which I talked about Star Wreck and how I thought it was a superior film than Iron Sky.

Well -

It's -

It's sorta superior.

It's a guilty pleasure much like the Devilman OVA's.

Way back when, when I was just a wee lad I was a huge fan of sci-fi, mostly Star Wars and Starship Troopers. I hadn't seen much I know, which is way Star Wreck In The Pirkinning has a special place in my heart.

You see in Finland we have movies too, mostly dramas and our movies are well, really really dark I think this comic from Scandinavia And The World says it all: http://satwcomic.com/funny-movie
But that wasn't the reason why I was staying away from Finnish cinema, when I was a lad. No the reason was that most of the movies I saw we're from 50's and they sucked!

Anyways I grown out of it and all, so that really isn't a problem anymore.

Back to Star Wreck.

Way back when, Star Wreck In The Pirkinning was a big thing, the first Finnish sci-fi movie ever! With only a budget of 10 000€ that was something.

Star Wreck movies we're created in early 90's by Samuli Torssonen who iss a big fan of Star Trek, I guess, I really don't know, and Star Wreck In The Pirkinning was seventh movie in the series, you can see them all in Energia Production's Youtube page if you wish.

Star Wreck In The Pirkinning is a direct sequel to Star Wreck V Lost Contact and it continues the story. After Captain Pirk, Info the Android and Mr. Dwarf ensured that the first contact was made with the aliens. After that the three decide to stay behind so that time line wouldn't get all screwed up, Captain Pirk learns that the international space program has been cancelled and thus we finally have learned why there is no space program in Terra Nova! Seriously there had to be a reason! So Captain Pirk decides that it's up to them to save the day and ensure that Earth can defend itself against vicious aliens.

How they decide to do this? Why, taking conquering the planet OF COURSE! I couldn't resist.

Needless to say they succeed on it and thus all is good until they discover a wormhole near Pluto and decide to take over that universe as well OF COURSE! heh he you see the thing is that I never get to use that meme so - yeah - don't worry I stop using it.

And thus Captain Pirk ends up fighting against Babylon 5 spoof.

So why I like this movie?

Well, simply because these movies seemed to be made with a ton of heart, to me these are like Mr. Rolfe's early movies, you just got to respect the fact that Samuli Torssonen took couple of he's friends and went on making bunch of silly stupid Star Trek Spoof films.

Like I said before, I never seen the original Star Trek series because it came at a bad time to me, when it actually came. But I've been watching ton of Star Trek Next Generation and I've been catching up with Star Trek movies and it's all thanks to this silly spoof film!

Yes, this is the movie that got me interested in Star Trek, even though this lead to the fact that my first Star Trek film I saw was Star Trek IX so - yeah.

This movie really is just a dumb popcorn flick, with ton of references to real Star Trek movies and  series plus bunch of inside jokes - mostly for Finns, but hey Iron Sky really wasn't that good either so, yeah.

The bad?

The acting is over the top and goofy and some of the jokes are kinda bad and just really more of miss than hit.

But like I said this movie really means a lot of mean, because this was my first Star Trek experience and but needless to say it's just ok and I only recommend to guys like me or just as some sort of weird extreme experience.

Also after seeing Leon Thomas'es Renegade Cut episode I have to ask, really? Yanks didn't know this? Really?

Link to Star Wreck V and to the Energia Production's Youtube page
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1GZ1vyJkcTM

Link to Renegade Cut episode about Iron Sky
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/leon-thomas/renegade-cut/39087-renegade-cut-iron-sky-and-not-bad-movies

Link to Film Brain's review of Iron Sky, because why not.
http://thatguywiththeglasses.com/videolinks/teamt/fbv/projector/35455-projector-iron-sky

Just for good measure Confused Matthew's review about Star Wreck In The Pirkinning.
http://blip.tv/confused-matthew/requested-review-star-wreck-in-the-pirkinning-6378145

If the links ain't working please tell.

Quain Laroche#4

We're back.

It's pouring.

It's night.

Jacque's smoking nervously. I thought 'e would be sleeping right now. Now that work is done.

Rene tells us to go to bed, 'e and 'e's brother will finish the job. 'e reminds me that we are going to 'ave that talk tomorrow.

Damn this rain.

I 'ate rain!

I'm trying to find shelter.

Damn this rain.

Looking for a shelter.

Damn this rain.

Shelter?

I think, I found one!

Not much, just another safe corner with some planks on top.

I go in and fall asleep.

Morning.

The rain 'as stopped. I get up.

I Come out of my shelter and light a cigarette.

Ahhh... morning smoke.

Sun is up. It's going to be a nice day. Atleast it's not raining anymore.

I'm 'ungry.

I go to that farmhouse again.

The whores are up and working. Must be careful then.

I walk around the farmhouse. I find another place to climb up.

Appels!

I go to them. I pick those that are fallen. I eat them. Then I go to the basement to 'ave some wine. Wine is still good.

I get out and light another cigarette. It feels good.

Still some time to waste before I meet Rene.

I go back in.

I sit down in a chair.

It feels nice, I've nearly forgotten 'ow good it is to sit down in a real chair. Still there is something so wrong with this place.

I must ask it from Rene.

It's afternoon. I go back to village.

Rene gave me 'e's address. Lives in a apartment building. Second floor.

I go in, I knock on Rene's door, 'e's brother opens the door and let's me in. It's a nice place, clean, warm, comfortable. Makes me want to 'ave a place like this.

On the second thought, that means that I 'ave to come in for Boche.

Rene's brother brings me a glass of wine. I look at it, smell it. Seems like a fine glass of wine. I drink it. Tastes fine.

Rene arrives, I stand up and we shake 'ands 'e seems relaxed.

That's odd.

I'm nervous.

What was it that 'e wanted to talk me?

Something about killing Boche, I suppose.

Rene tells me to sit down.

I sit.

Sofa is so comfortable.

Feels so good.

Rene starts talking. 'e asks 'ow I feel, I say fine and ask 'ow 'e? 'e says fine, all though 'e asks why I'm so scruffy looking and dirty.

I tell 'im the truth. 'e is shocked, I ask why and 'e says that it just so dangerous. I answer that it really isn't. 'e goes on blabbering about Boche and other 'omeless people and the weather, I agree with the weather but other problems are just nothing to worry about. 'e continues with that I should go on to live with someone, like Jacque.

I say no.

I couldn't stand being with Boche for so long. Rene is surprised. I go on saying that I 'ate them so much and I just want to kill them all, every last fucking one of them!

Rene is still shocked, but get's 'imself together and say's that I should live with Jacque, 'e will make all the arragements, I don't 'ave to worry a thing.

I try to decline, but that is not an option.

Rene then goes on to talk about the real matter.

”My 'atered for the Boche.” As 'e puts it.

The real issue is the one with the fact that I want to kill them too eagerly. I ask why is that a problem? 'e goes on saying that for every Boche, that we kill the French will pay with they're lives. I say, that I don't care what 'appens to them.

They're nothing, to me.

Rene goes on saying that 'e would like that when this war is over and France is free again, that there will be someone else to celebrate with them. And tells me that next time we meet Boche, I need to get they're uniforms before, I 'ave my way with them.

I agree.

I ask Rene about the farmhouse. 'e's curious. 'e didn't know. I ask did Boche do that? 'e says they might 'ave, Lord knows what they did during the war. 'e asks me did I serve in the war. I say yes. 'e asks where? Maginot, I answer. Rene is shocked. 'e says that 'e is sorry.

I ask, why?

”Maginot was 'ell” 'e answers I say that I do not remember anything from that. 'e's curious. I say that I remember the Maginot, but not the battle. My last memory is when Paris was occupied. 'e's still shocked and starts to explain that Boche never attacked Maginot. I say that they did. Rene says that they did it, but after they 'ad invaded France.

WHAT?

Rene goes and get's a glass of wine for me too then 'e sits and goes on:” Same thing as last time they, came through Belgium and 'olland”

I can't believe it!

Are the French the only one who 'ave any chance against Boche?

I drink my wine.

I'm shocked.

I'm speechless.

Those bastards! Much like last time they didn't even try!

I'm furious.

Rene says that I can go now and that 'e will talk to Jacque about the arragements. Rene will inform me when I can move in with Jacque.

I thank 'im and leave.

The End

Farewell to Ray Harryhausen

Greetings,

Yesterday 7.5 was another sad day for the world of cinema, one of the biggest contributors to the world of special effects, Ray Harryhausen passed away.

Much like Roger Ebert I wasn't privileged to know Mr. Harryhausen in person and unlike Mr. Ebert my encounters with he's work are virtually non-existent. I did saw Jason and the Argonauts once and I liked it, especially the stop motion puppetry.

And that was Mr. Harryhausen's specialty: Stop motion puppetry. I don't consider myself as a movie maker or anything like that but I did once do an animated movie with my Lego's, this movie has long since been lost so I can't upload it anywhere or share it with you, needless to say it wasn't that good. But I can safely say that animation through stop motion wasn't easy, except for Mr. Harryhausen.

Mr. Harryhausen has influenced so many movie makers from Steven Spielberg to Terry Gilliam and Jason and the Argonauts is Tom Hanks's favorite movie of all time, as it is one of many favorites of James Rolfe, I seen it only once, but I can say that it was a good movie.

On this sad day we can safely say that Harryhausen was acclaimed in he's life time winning many awards including Gordon E. Sawyer award and has a star on Hollywood walk of fame. Despite Mr. Harryhausen's death he's legacy will live on in the movies he made and in modern movies with digital special effects - for better and the worse.

There can be only one

Some of you might wonder what the title means and this can be because two things:

1. You haven't seen The Highlander! Shame on you! Go see Highlander! I keep hearing that it's really really good, even though I haven't seen it.

2. Operation about my Youtube accounts.

As some of you might know before I started this I used to run a weekly "review"/experimental comedy show. I reviewed books and then went to movies.

It wasn't really as successful as I thought it would be mainly, because I'm too hasty and because it really wasn't that good. The reason for it not being really all that good was that I reviewed books which already was a rotten idea to begin with. Why? Well for a number of reasons:

1. No-one cares about books!
2. There are too many of them!
3. Books are way way too long.
4. Books are not a visual media.

Not saying that one can't do a good review show about books just saying that I failed. The main reason why I failed so much in this was that since there was no-one reviewing books, aside from show in TGWTG which name I can't remember, but that was a different format than what I was doing, I decided to rip off Linkara.

Now I really have no problem with Linkara. I like AT4W mainly because of it's storyline and Linkara's knowledge about pop culture. The problem is that when it comes down to jokes and being funny - yeah. To me Linkara is just ok and if it wasn't, because of the storyline I wouldn't care to watch he's show, but anyways back to me.

So I went on to rip off Linkara's style on my book review show and the problems just kept piling up. I really didn't like them and I felt like they were half-finished and really really not good.

And then my computer went kaboom, got fixed but too bad I already had lost the touch and I was playing GTA games, went to Estonia, then I rediscovered Battle for Westnoth again and became really really lazy and once again I lost my touch.

Then I wanted to other things I did myself two more Youtube channels these were Finnish meaning that I spoke my native tongue, these were Gremlin in Rehab Productions a pun from Brad Jones's Stoned Gremlin productions on which I was suppose to go on with the experimental stuff the first one being a series of Cinema Snob parodies which I later decided to end after one episode mainly because I though that wasn't fair and it was too much of ripping off. The second one was AsahamanaVlogs you see in Finland Vlogs have became a really big thing so much that everyone is doing them so I decided to give it a shot and see if I liked them, I didn't.

Now back to "There can be only one" this basically means that I'm going to delete Gremlin in Rehab productions and AsahamanaVlogs channels and put the contents of Gremlin in Rehab productions into my main channel Asahamana. The second channel AsahamanaVlogs will be removed compeletly, because I didn't like doing those things of course once I announce this I will see if people think otherwise and then comply.

But there will also be changes on my main channel Asahamana. You see I'm you're average geek: I'm awkward, silent, shy, timid and horribly insecure person, I can be for days without talking to other people aside myself and I have no friends. So because of those reasons I'm going to hide all my videos on my main channel and put the links in here. I was thinking about removing them completly but to be honest the videos aren't really that bad so yeah.

This change will take about 3 months when this has been posted so - yeah.

May

Sorry for the lack of Mr. Laroche last month, life my arch nemesis interfered with this again. Also the Dragon Ball Evolution one was a doozy.

Well now that I have apologized for - what? 400th time? I will continue on listing what's going to happen this month:

First of Quain Laroche#5
Second of Star Wreck in the Pirkinning one of my biggest guilty pleasures, hopefully it will be done.
Third of Quain Laroche#6 some catching up from the last month.
Fourth of Ginga Nagareboshi Gin review, review of hands down the biggest anime/manga series here in Finland, this is going to be swell!

On video front something will come up - hopefully with more Tintin.

Hopefully I will get everything done. At the time I started to read to entrance examination, so who knows -maybe my arch nemesis will strike again. Hopefully not.