Greetings,
 my league of vigilant readers, as my personal retrospect on Star Wars goes on I've must now talk about the darkest moment of my youth and also one of the darkest moments of Star Wars franchise and no I'm not going to talk about the Clone Wars movies, the TV-series or the Holiday special why? Because I like to end this somewhere on this millennium, so that's that. But unfortunately I've still have to talk about the prequels - may God have mercy on my soul. Hit it Hot Waffles!

But there's more to the story of Leia, Han and Luke 

Now as I've already said that: when I was ten I loved the Phantom Menace and rest of the prequels. Why? Simple they were dumb action movies and like I said I've had no idea that these had anything to do with the original trilogy way back when, because I was only ten and this thing called the Internet was still young. 

So what was the problem with the Star Wars prequels? The same one that's the problem, with the Star Trek Next Generation movies, they were dumb action flicks and while I like a good action flick every now and then much, like everyone else, Star Wars and Star Trek Next Generation weren't really something that one could make an action movie out of. And here's why: 

Star Wars 

Star Wars was always more about introspective things: finding ones place in this crazy universe: Luke became a Jedi and went on to train more Jedis on Yavin IV, Han became a husband, father and a senator with he's wife Leia and Chewbacca became a really cool uncle to the children of Han and Leia. But the original trilogy was more about force which is well - hard to explain actually - um - it's really cool magic that lets you do some really cool things if you're good enough. 

Now don't get me wrong, The original trilogy had some really cool action scenes and so on, but they had a deeper meaning as Mr. Plinkett said it in he's Star Wars review. Like every lightsaber fight was over really fast, but you remember because of all the build up, there was taunting and there was times during the lightsaber fights when there was no fighting at all, just Luke trying to find Vader and they used force. Not to mention Luke didn't really use he's lightsaber that often which I get, because even though I've love the lightsaber as much as any other person I would have to admit that it's really useless when lazer weaponry is still widely available, not to mention when one can use something like force it really begs the question: Why would some use something like a lightsaber? 

And here's the reasons: it looks cool and it takes skill to swing it around so you wouldn't hit yourself, because they will cut anything they hit. So that's the thing with Star Wars: It's more about introspective deeper things like finding ones place and so on, everything else is just to make it look cooler I think - oh wait  know I remember- Star Wars is an modern day homage to the classic sci fi adventure serials of 40's that Lucas used watch all the time, when he was a kid and the whole force thing is just some dumb MacGuffin invented by Lucas to make things more interesting to the audience, because it would be kind of boring just to see them rescue Leia from the Empire all the time. Or something I don't really know - now look what I've just did! I wrote for this long about the nature of Star Wars even though I've have no goddamn idea why the hell is there something like the force? Go to hell George Lucas! I bet you don't even know what the force is - oh wait you don't! Please, someone go and ask Gary Kurtz from about this force thing! 

Oh wait! I've just got it what's the thing with the force: I'ts an classical mythological element that George Lucas used - oh wait that doesn't make a lick of sense! Ok so the bottom line is this: Star Wars was more about introspective things, you know, about more deeper and boring things, made so that the dumb popcorn eating masses, could write essays about it and make themselves look smart, because all the other movies that tackle on these same things - ok now I'm just wasting everyone's time! Let's just go on to: 

Star Trek: The Next Generation 

Ok, this one is going to be done really fast. Mainly because it has nothing do with anything and I don't even know that much about Star Trek: Next Generation, not to mention I don't care enough about Star Trek to write an essay about it.

Star Trek is like an intergalactic Scoopy Doo but in space and more badasser and generally better than Scoopy Doo in many ways. It's also more about finding the peaceful way to solve conflicts, so that not that many green aliens would have to die. I mean most of the episodes of Star Trek: The Next Generation are really boring and tackle on intergalactic politics, while boldly going where no-one has gone before. There is some action, every now and then to keep things interesting but that's not the focus of the entire series.

Now I haven't seen any of the Next Generation movies and most of my knowledge about them comes from Mr. Plinkett's review's so the hell Ii I know. I heard some good things about the First Contact one and even some good things about the Nemesis one so hell if I know, but let's go on about the Star Wars Prequels.

But then all came more tears 

Now if you have a half of brain or even some taste or anything you might already know that the prequels suck! Even I know that now but it wasn't always so. Like I said back when I actually liked them, but there was some problems coming right from the horizon: 

You see I didn't rush to get the DVD:s when they came out, know the only special edition I have about the prequels is the Revenge of The Sith in 2 DVD special edition. Now I don't own the Blu-rays and I'm not planning to, mostly because I have the original films in that 2006 special DVD limited edition and Lucas said they are going to be the last so as far as I'm considered, if there is not going to be any new special edition that has the deleted scenes to the original trilogy, the 2006 limited special edition is the last special release. And for the longest time I had the Attack of the Clones as an VHS to oppose the DVD. Mostly because the DVD copy of Attack of the Clones, was really hard to come by back when, but I did and I now own it on DVD without the second DVD like I own the Phantom Menace so I'm happy. 

Anyways there is ton of problems with the prequel trilogy and ton of people have already talked about them including Mr. Plinkett, so I'm damned if I'm going to waste my time on them. Not to mention all my problems whit the movies logic are in the Phantom Menace one and even then it's mostly, just about the Gungans, you know the rastafari duck rabbit creatures, that live on the same lake with giant Godzilla monsters and have some sort of weird force field technology, shoot some weird blue balls that kill robots and have electric spears. But here is the question: Why doesn't the Trade Federation just send in some destroyer droids to be done with the rastarfari duck rabbit creatures in the open battle field? Not to mention: what was the Naboo's plan on taking out that droid control ship? I mean it's kinda like the Deathstar right? So what's they're plan? Don't get me wrong I like Zapp Brannigan as much a next person, but even he made battle plans. Look I've just wasted everyone's time on some questions that will never be answered, so let's go on with the Attack of the Clones. 

Attack of the Clones is by far the worst of the prequel films, even though it's better than Phantom Menace. Now that doesn't make a lick of sense now does it? So let me explain: I can see Phantom Menace any day of the year and I will just suffer some brain damage, but the Attack of the Clones does something worse: it wastes my time, with one of the worst romance's in cinema history and with some good Shakesperean dialogue that doesn't belong in to Star Wars.

 So why is it good? It's much better dumb action flick than Phantom Menace. In Phantom Menace there was nothing at risk, than a dumb planet that only had one city and a lake filled with rastafari duck rabbit creatures that lived alongside with some giant Godzilla monsters, so the rastafari duck rabbit creatures must have tasted pretty bad or they were poisonous.  

God I'm sorry but once again I'm running out of time so let's get back tomorrow! Till then live long and prosper! Asahamana is out *snap*